I did it! I got through one of the most stressful things I’ve ever had to do. My brother’s wedding, that was 900 miles away. Having this condition has changed my life drastically. The anxiety I get is debilitating and I have missed out on so much. My brother’s fiance asked me to be in their wedding and even though I was extremely honored and excited, I was also terrified thinking about the 14 hour drive there and then back again. I was worried about my hands being red and swollen in the wedding photos, everyone would be staring at me during the ceremony, people asking me why my hands were red and having to explain it to them (which gives me even more anxiety and makes it worse). I was worried about our car breaking down in the middle of eastern Washington in the 97 degree weather, not having enough ice for my frozen water bottles I brought with in a cooler. Lots of things terrified me on this trip. But you know what, it was alright. I did experience some bad anxiety on the car ride there and back but I’m still alive. My hands did swell up and turn red while I was with all the girls and bride getting ready, and my 5 year old nephew did ask me why my hands were so red. But my boyfriend was understanding during the trip and asked if he needed to pull over when my anxiety got bad, he rubbed my leg to calm me down and told me everything was going to be ok. I had my family there who knew what I was going through and didn’t bring up my hands being swollen because they knew I was worried about it. I kept a starbucks cup with me filled with ice water so I could cool my hands when needed. And I put some concealer on my hands to try to hide the redness during the photos.
For months I had been dreading this trip (even though I was SO happy it was happening). And it turned out to be wonderful. I am really proud of myself for pushing through the anxiety and not passing out during the ceremony, haha!
I really wanted to share this because I did NOT think I would be able to get through this trip. I literally had come up with a million excuses in my head why I couldn’t go and all of the things that could go wrong. I don’t know about anyone else but my anxiety is debilitating. But I did it! It is possible to go to these stressful events with this condition, you just have to try! And it was so worth it! This is me with my boyfriend and dad after the ceremony and a close up of my hand.
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